I mentioned in an earlier post, once dressing in a slinky, sexy piece of lingerie, and my vanilla boyfriend saying, “You don’t need to wear that stuff.” Sigh.
When I would throw something across my eyes, and attempt to pretend it was a blindfold, he would pull it off, with a terse, “Don’t you want to look at me?” Sigh again.
As many of you are probably aware, explanations are pointless, and recently, a couple of incidents started me thinking.
In an effort to explain how I see myself as a submissive, and my thoughts about D/s, I sent some friends a couple of links to some D/s sites. They informed me, that to them, these sites were pornographic.
I found it an enlightening and extremely interesting comment. In their eyes, images of women in bondage, wearing collars, dressed in all manner of titillating attire, was pornographic. To me, and I suspect, to most of you, these same images are artful, beautiful, erotic, tantalizing and sensuous.
This was a clear example of the perception of a vanilla mindset, vs the reality of what D/s actually is to those of us in the lifestyle.
Elizabeth’s Education is a book that is, well, in my humble opinion, a bit over the top.
(I don’t know what happens to me when I write novels based in Merry Olde England, but there is a devilish imp that takes over and creates all kinds of naughty scenarios, but I digress).
Elizabeth’s Education certainly isn’t for everyone. There is a serious disclaimer/warning in the front of the book, and the cover suggests it is a book involving, among other things, corporal punishment. In spite of all the warnings, there have been a couple of nasty reviews, one suggesting that I am depraved.
Depraved? Little Miss Maggie Carpenter depraved? Perhaps I am, though why someone would buy a book, clearly labeled BDSM and sporting warnings on the opening pages, bewilders me, but again – an example of the perception, vs the reality.
What the vanilla world perceives as depraved, we see as exciting, compelling, and deliciously decadent.
I was asked today, if a Dominant man could have a successful relationship with a vanilla woman. My response was, that it would probably, ultimately fail. As a submissive, having suffered through the frustration of a vanilla relationship, I can’t imagine I’ll ever do it again.
The question – “Why do you need a.b.and c. Why can’t you just be normal?” can never be satisfactorily answered, because the perception Mr. (or Miss) Vanilla has, can never be their reality, because the reality for them, simply does not exist.
Or am I wrong?