We all ask it.
We question why we are addicted, then we don’t, then something happens and we question again.
Sometimes we ask ‘why’ relative to something specific.
That ‘why’ visited me.
I finished something. It was important, a milestone, and it mattered, but this afternoon I was a crazy person. Decisions were waiting to be made, and as I fluttered about, called and discussed, read and re-read, the ‘why’ whooshed in and sat down beside me.
Why I needed a Romantic Dominant in my life at that precise moment was crystal clear.
It was not to scold, or to interfere. It was not to stop me mid-stream, or have me explain.
It was to sit with me, quietly, and allow me to breathe in the safety of his presence.
To softly remind me that I am not alone, that, no matter what happens, his support and love is a wall upon which I can lean. If a decision isn’t quite right, if I have to pick up the proverbial pieces, he will hold the bucket into which I will drop them, and if I ask, help me glue them back together.
The ‘why’ stayed with me, holding my hand into the evening, when it became apparent that the ‘why’ was two-fold; having survived the crazy afternoon, the evening was triumphant, and in victory, there would have been no greater reward than his engulfing arms.
There are many reasons a Dominant and submissive need each other – need, not want, but tonight, a specific ‘why’ mattered, because it brought into focus the truth of who I am.
The ‘why’ was answered.
And the void was felt.