…or is it just me?
Over the last few days, I have been forced to undertake some extremely arduous, manual labor.
Yes, I’m capable of these physically taxing chores, but I find myself not just resenting having to do them, but a society that has apparently decided women are, can be, and should be, completely self-sufficient, and certainly capable of doing anything a man can do.
Men and women are created equal, but nature has created us to excel in different areas, to compliment, support and to nurture as our gender dictates.
I don’t want to lift a 400 lb wooden beam and load it into my car, or carry un-sanded sheets of plywood and scrape my hands.
Perhaps it’s just me. Perhaps I’m lacking in character or moral fiber, or possess some other flaw that makes me want to be a woman who doesn’t do all those things; a woman who is soft, gentle, nurturing and supportive. I want a man to be a man, and open the door, carry in the groceries, and do the heavy lifting.
Sometimes I feel so frustrated, I just want to strangle all the “I am woman, hear me roar,” feminists. I don’t have any desire to roar. I want to purr, and curl up in the lap of a strong, sensible, deliciously Dominant man, a man confident enough to allow me to be exactly who I am, and not see me as weak or fragile, but simply not built to do the physical things he can.
A Dominant man confident enough not to surrender to the demands put upon him to be something other than what nature intended him to be.
Please, open the car door, and my hand will melt in yours.
Please, carry that plywood for me, and I’ll make you the best cup of coffee you’ve ever had.
Please, hold me when I cry, and don’t ask me to be tough and hide my sorrow.
Please, hug me when I’m happy, and celebrate my little victories.
In return, I will love and respect you just the way God made you.
I will bring you pizza as you watch the football game.
I will type your letters and bring you coffee.
I will bake the proverbial cookies, and not ask you to watch Harry Met Sally, not ever.
Perhaps I’m completely off base. Perhaps this is just me. Perhaps I am living in the wrong era.
Is there something wrong with simply wanting to be a woman, and do what women do, and having a man in my life who is happy to be a man, and do the things men do?
When did this all go so horribly wrong?
Or perhaps it didn’t, and it is just me after all.
www.MaggieCarpenter.com
Thank god…finally someone who thinks like me
THANK YOU MAGGIE ♥️♥️♥️
The response to this blog is so heartwarming. It is just wonderful to know others share my POV and feel as I do. It will buoy me through my day, for sure. Thank YOU, for taking the time to read and comment, and for the reblog. Truly humbled and so complimented.
Reblogged this on I NEED YOU TO NEED ME.
I would really like everything you described. I’m so willing to take care of my husband as long as He takes care of me. So tired of playing all the roles…
Exactly. Mutual, reciprocal, love and support, surrendering to our gender as nature intended.
As always well said girl… Well said…
xoxox
🙂 xoxoxo back at ya. And thank you.
You are so welcome.
xoxox
I just found your blog and wow! No, you are not the only one wanting to simply be a woman. This was awesomely wrote!
Thank you, that’s very kind of you to say. I hope we both find the opportunity to be the women we are, with men who truly understand, and concur, in their own glorious way.
…or perhaps the roaring feminists took it too far with the women rights and responsibilities…
Perhaps it is. I feel the movement became zealous. It’s a complicated issue, but at the end of the day, I simply want to be who I am, not what others think I should be.
Not just you but many of us ‘liberated ladies’ who are tired of being both male & female to satisfy the feminist agenda. Hey, please carry my groceries, my plywood and hammer that just where it should be, I’ll cook, clean, make coffee and take all your desires when & where you want them (they are likely to super satisfy me too). I am an ex- tomboy but my nails aren’t designed for intense physical labour but hey in all else, I’m your lady. Sorry getting cheeky but I totally agree with you 🙂
Cheeky is good. 🙂 Thank you. Yes, tired, soooo tired.
I love it when men not only open doors for me, they’ll growl if I attempt to open them myself. Hubby and I sort of have reversed roles. I do all the mechanical and computer stuff and he does the grocery shopping and cooking. He does do all the heavy lifting, though he likes to tease me into thinking he expects me to carry the “heavy” stuff. ;-}
Ooooh, I love the growl. 🙂 It sounds as if you’ve worked everything out. I must confess I am far from a Domestic Diva, and a man confident enough to cook, is very sexy indeed.
I understand completely. I used to think there was something wrong with me, that I was being weak. Could it be a submissive thing?
Thanks Kayla.
Could it be a submissive thing? That’s the question.
A submissive wants the loving protection of her man. She wants someone to watch out for her, and lifting heavy objects, doing physical things nature did not design us to do, is inherently injurious.
Perhaps a man doesn’t have to be Dominant to step in and take that burden, but the vanilla men I’ve known would applaud me, the Dominant men would prevent me from doing so.
Take your pick, I certainly know who I would choose. Is that the submissive in me?
I tend to think it is, because the vanilla man’s reaction leaves me cold.
FAN-BLOODY-TASTIC. You absolutely hit every nail on the head in your article. I don’t disagree with any of it. LOVE this.
My goodness. THANK YOU! Really appreciate the validation, and as I mentioned in response to an earlier comment, it’s so heartwarming to hear that I’m not alone. 🙂
I like being a woman, I like being a girl. I think strong is the new skinny, but even if I *can* carry plywood and that beam, and occasionally am forced by circumstances to do so … I don’t *want* to when I have a choice!
I am a submissive woman and I want my Dominant to be my Dominant and give me the comfort and ease to just be me.
I so agree Maggie!
Thank you, exactly. Just because we can, doesn’t mean we want to!
Being a woman is as God created us. I want to be the soft feminine one he seeks to dominate. Great post!
Beautifully said. Thank you.
I love it when little one purrs. (Sir)
Ooooh… sigh.
I feel the same way.
Thank you for stopping by and having your voice heard. 🙂 Appreciate it.
Maggie,
I think it’s obvious from the response you’ve received here, that your post really hit the mark for a LOT of us. You’ve said what so many of us have felt (from either side of the gender divide), and I hope more women and men have the courage to express their true desires — whether they be “traditional” or otherwise.
I suspect that the modern culture (not just feminism) may cause some to fear expressing any sort of preference for “traditional” gender roles, especially vis-a-vis sexuality and day-to-day life. I think perhaps that’s changing, but it will take some time. My hope is that modern culture and society gives both women and men the freedom and empowerment to live their lives (sexual or otherwise) in the way that they choose. I hope that that will be the ultimate legacy of feminism — that true freedom to determine how you express your femininity (and masculinity).
When I think about this subject, I always come back to the same conclusion (I wish I could remember where I heard it so that I could credit the person, but it nails it perfectly):
Women want to be wanted
Men need to be needed
I think that crystallizes how many of us feel, and it neatly encapsulates how both men and women can bring different (and complementary) strengths to a relationship — and in so doing make the whole greater than the sum of its parts. In my opinion, those differences between men and women should be celebrated and appreciated.
I long for a time when men and women are not to be afraid to be who they really are inside. It can be such a beautiful thing!
(PS — all that said, I still prefer to do the cooking:)
Trent: Thank you for such a comprehensive and thoughtful comment. I have always maintained that the greatest gift one can bestow upon another, is the freedom to be who they are. In fact, some time ago I wrote a post about this very thing.
Love the adage – women want to be wanted, and men need to be needed, though I would like to think, if I was in a loving relationship, that my partner would need me too. 🙂
I believe that feminism was founded with good intentions, and a desire to better the life of women who, in some areas of society, were not treated fairly. Like so many movements, it was taken over by zealots, and consequently, it somehow became perverted and warped.
Regardless, I look forward to the day when I can say, “Honey, can you please come with me to the hardware store?” and He says, “You don’t even need to go. Just tell me what it is you need. ”
Sigh…
So insightful and so beautifully written! 🙂
Thank you, Olivier. So pleased you think so.
You’re beautiful!
http://oldtimerchronicle2.wordpress.com/2013/10/03/for-maggie
Clyde… you are so sweet to say so. Thank you.
My Goodness. I am truly honored and humbled. Thank you very very much. What an unexpected and lovely tribute. I don’t deserve it.
Oh you deserve so much more! You deserve every success you seek and for which you work so hard ~ on your fine little masterpieces. All your work is evolving beautifully. And whenever you start talking about vanilla man I get goose bumps…
LOL. Goosebumps are good. They remind you that you’re alive! Thank you again, Clyde. You’re so kind.
Yes, I think it is.