Reassurance that you don’t look fat in that outfit.
(or any outfit thereafter)
Change the flat tire.
So we have something to complain about during coffee with our friends.
Move the furniture, then move it again.
When you’re thirsty and want to have a drink, you know there will be someone at the bar to talk to.
(Whether you want to or not!)
Zip up those last three inches at the back of your dress.
Warm hugs (especially on a cold night).
Long, delicious, sensuous kisses, whispered promises, blindfolds, ropes and collars.
Hot hands when we’re good,
even hotter when we’re not.
(Number 3, many reasons, but they all just add up to one when think about it!)
“Yes, you may!”
NUMBER 1 REASON GOD INVENTED MEN
At 3 am, when the &)%$^%&#@ smoke alarm shrieks its beeps (I repeat, at 3 am) to alert you that the battery is dying, there is someone to go to the garage, find the ladder, carry it up the stairs, climb to the top rung because the idiot who installed it MUST have been a former MBA player because the damn thing is placed so high it’s the only possible explanation, force off the cap that does NOT want to move, and pull out the battery that is in a compartment so small you have to find a flat-head screwdriver to pry the annoying thing out.
And ladies, as a thank you for taking the time to read this…
(Feel free to assign him sharing rights with any number above).
and let’s not forget you guys, to whom this Top Ten List is dedicated,
a femme fatale who clearly needs a spanking, don’t you think?