Do you get tired of keeping the secret?
My fatigue is growing.
It was not a choice I made.
It was not a decision thought out and researched.
It is simply who I am.
A passionate, romantic, soulful submissive
The world meets a strong, professional, happy woman,
Smart, purposeful, opinionated and confident
Maggie is tucked quietly away
Living with the aching, craving need
It is too dangerous to reveal my secret
I would be judged, giggled about, mocked by some, scorned by others
And certainly misunderstood
My facade would be shattered
Though my facade isn’t a facade at all
I am exactly who I appear to be
And so is Maggie
Yesterday I happened to chat to a stranger
A friendly, warm, attractive man
He paused, mid-sentence
Tilting his head to one side
“I don’t mean to be forward, but your eyes. There’s something in your eyes.”
I felt my face flush.
Was he seeing Maggie?
Did he spy her longing unmet hunger?
The moment still haunts me
Keeping the secret is burdensome
Because I carry it alone…
Shhhhhhhhh
If you speak out you will wake them up. Don’t do that. It’s much better for the economy if they stay asleep and keep buying all the bullshit that we have been feeding them. If you tell them the truth they might wake up and then we’d have to deal with all those questions….. damnit, shhhhhh
LOL. Not to worry. Those that sleep the sleep to which you refer, are locked in their safe blissful slumbers and have no desire to open their eyes.
I empathize with Maggie. I know how she feels. Do you ever wonder, when someone sees something in your eyes…..could they maybe share our longings? You never know. I always look people in the eye and speak confidently….but occasionally I will be talking with someone, and something in me becomes…soft, and I have the urge to lower my eyes. I always wonder if I am sensing something in him too. Strange……
Thank you for sharing this. I mentioned something similar in my very first blog.
http://maggiecarpenterdotcom.wordpress.com/2012/05/
Yes, I did wonder if he glimpsed Maggie. Was he a Dominant in hiding?
There have been moments in the past, though infrequent, when I have felt those few magic seconds. Our true nature takes over, and we, as you said, soften… sigh
the moment where two kindred souls meet. When you let down your guard. When the woman in control loses that control or is just to tired to hold on. When the submissive inside so needs to be held and loved. When she longs for her master to take control from her because the world has leaned on her to long and to hard.
I hope that you find a way to let both sides of you live in peaceful harmony. i am still trying
Thank you for your thought invoking comment. Actually, my two sides do live in harmony. I love and embrace them both. It’s the world in which Maggie must be cautious. The media has painted us as something other than what we are (though of course there are those who fit the stereotype) and there is little or no acceptance. So Maggie lives quietly waiting – hoping – for the day He steps out from the shadows and into the light of her life.
Maybe it’s just me. I see the nature of many people all around me… male and female. From a small hint to something palpable enough to almost smell … the mix of an odd kind of fear thinly veiled by the courage to interact, survive, to do what is required. Not really fear as much as a strong desire to not have to be doing what they are doing. I see that all the time.
There are people who are so afraid of life and others and how to interact that they over compensate. To me, that shines out like a billion watt light bulb on a moonless night. It’s loud, bright, scary.
I should write this stuff down. I’d never thought to describe it before… at least not to anyone else.
You did write this stuff down! And I’m honored that you chose this forum in which to do so. I know exactly what you mean. When I am out and about I can ‘feel’ the energy emanating from those around me. I have often written about, and received comments back, about the vanilla vs the Dominant and it’s a fascinating study – such interesting observations.