Written in response to several emails I have received of late –
He Is Perfect!
He knows me so well –
– that secret place, touched just so, that makes me gasp
– the way he shackles my wrists – slowly, deliberately
– for how long I should be left – panting – waiting – craving
– his hot hands, slapping so expertly
His kiss – demanding – soft – teasing – gentle –
He Is Perfect
No he is not.
But I expect him to be. After all, he is my Dominant. He pulls the strings – he must be perfect.
Such a burden he carries.
My Dominant is a human being, with flaws and fears and insecurities – with hopes having been dashed and triumphs realized. He is my Superhero, but on those occasions when he lets me down, when he forgets a promise or spanks me too hard, or not hard enough, or suddenly, unexpectedly exposes a weakness – a frailty – I am reminded he is just like me. Human.
Loving and serving is forgiving and supporting. These must be part of the submissive job title. No matter his prowess, his knowledge, his success – we must never forget he is human and all humans have their bad days and make their share of mistakes.
Those are the days – above all others – that offer you the opportunity to shine.
Thank you. I needed to read this today. My Dominant is not perfect, which is good, because I am so flawed. He is better than perfect; He is a self-aware, empathetic, and loving human being. He allows me to speak my mind and He listens to what I need to say. Of all of His qualities, that one endears Him to me more than He knows.
Sometimes I have important things to impart to Him and sometimes I am just being a ranting, dramatic spoiled child. Whether I am being rational or not, He always has time for me and tells me the truth as He sees it. He is unwavering in this capacity; He is a rock to me. I make so many mistakes without meaning to, and yet, He forgives me or helps me to see where I went wrong. He does not hold grudges (for very long), nor does He hold back His opinion (ever).
He is honest with me. I completely respect that, even if it means having to face the ugly parts of myself.
When dust ups occur, I find it is generally never one person’s fault completely. When I give a bad impression of myself, it’s because my words or actions were selfish, even if I am not a selfish person (most of the time).
Everyone benefits from self reflection, introspection, acknowledging having missed the mark and making amends when needed. I am learning more and more how to do this without being overly prideful or overly self defeating. My Dominant teaches me these things through instruction and guidance, but also in His own actions. He holds himself up to the same level of expectations that He puts on me. He has all of my respect and I always have His back.
Yes, I want to serve Him, but I always want to be supportive of Him too (when He lets me).
When He shines, I shine. When I shine, I shine for Him.
You summarized it ‘perfectly’ – in your last sentence. Beautiful. Thank you. And yes – we all benefit from self reflection. Someone once told me that we all suffer from Self Perception Distortion. i.e. We don’t see ourselves as others see us. I think the D/s dynamic helps us to see the truth of ourselves – both the Dom and the sub. Flaws and all. As the others who have been kind enough to write such riveting comments, you are truly fortunate to have found someone with whom can communicate so effectively.
I thought so too. I thought I could talk to him about anything.
I was wrong.
People want to hear what they want to hear. It’s normal. I am used to it. I am an idealist and I believe I may have over romanticized our relationship. Perhaps the things I wrote don’t actually represent the relationship we have, but the one I would like to have, the one that is apparently playing out in my head for me and me alone.
Sorry. I am very sad tonight. Nothing is ever as it seems.
Everything feels like smoke rings that disappear into nothing when I try to touch them to see if they are real.
Oh my – I am so sorry and hope this passes quickly…
The other night I was showering Sir with admiring words, and He made the comment, “At times I wonder if I actually live up to your estimation of me, girl” It was said with a smile, but it reminded me that yes, He needs to know that my surrender is fixed even when He is not “the perfect Dominant,” just like i need the reassurance that He still desires me as “His girl” when I forget something or presume something or some other infraction. At the heart of it, we are two humans, not two characters in a novel. And actually, I like it that way. I like that He has foibles and moods and the occasional bad day. Someone who truly WAS perfect would be completely insufferable, really. 🙂
I agree. A perfect Dom would only serve to remind me of how imperfect I am.
Us subs put our Doms on pedestals. There is nothing wrong with this; it is an inherent part of our nature. We should be allowed to put our Doms on pedestals. This serves a need the submissive has in a way that is healthy and hopefully pleasing to the Dominant. But those feeling should never make Him feel like He has to live up to unreasonable expectations.
We are all human. We will all fail, ourselves and one another time and time again. It is not our failures that define us, but how we choose to deal with those failures. A Dominant who is secure enough with Himself and His submissive to admit when He has erred in judgement or action is a bigger and better man, than the man who never fails at anything. Because the only people who never fail at anything are the people who refuse to risk themselves by saying what they really think or fighting for what they believe is right, or speaking up even when it goes against the status quo.
Sometimes doing the right thing is not about being right; it’s about being human. I can count on one hand how many times my Dominant has told me that He was wrong for whatever reason. He is not wrong very often, but it happens on the rarest of occasions. Of course, I don’t want to make Him feel wrong all the time or argue any small point just to argue it. I want to serve Him, support Him, empower Him in the ways that I am able to as His submissive. But there have been times He has reflected on His words or actions, and said–Hey, I was wrong. These moments do not lessen my faith in Him; it strengthens it. It reminds me that He will always listen to me and allow me a space in His life to speak my mind. He may not always agree with me, but He cares about me and my thoughts. He listens to me. He considers my thoughts. This honors me. That is so much more important to me than being a ‘perfect Dominant who never makes mistakes.
Because this is His nature, He truly is perfect to me.
Thank you for such a heartfelt and comprehensive comment. You are very fortunate to have found such a perfect match. Bless you both.
There is no such thing as “perfect” in the true sense of the word. Anyone who presented themselves as such would be putting forth a facade. Our imperfections are those things which make us perfect…
We both have said we are “perfect” for each other and we believe this because even with our flaws, baggage and issues we are still good for each other. We are imperfectly perfect. 🙂
Exactly! The imperfections are what make us perfect – and when you find your match – perfect for each other.
Yep… 🙂