I’ve received some really interesting emails in response to my previous blog. There is much to say about this subject matter and I feel compelled to write this follow up.
First let me say, each of my experiences with Dominants has been nothing but positive. This includes those I met as strangers.
My only unfortunate relationship was, ironically, vanilla. He was complete narcissist. Controlling, domineering (not to be confused with Dominant) extremely critical and verbally abusive. It was shocking. He missed his calling. If he had enjoyed inflicting physical pain he would be shining example of a Psycho-Dom. And this person I met through a friend!!
So while warnings about the dangers of finding a significant other in the D/s dating world are absolutely appropriate, I do believe there are perfectly sane, lovely Dominants out there looking just as honestly and fervently as their female counterparts. In fact I know there are.
Here’s the challenge. We will one day (hopefully) find ourselves either tied up, blindfolded or gagged (or any combination of the three) and at the mercy of this wonderful new man in our lives. There in lies the danger. How well do you have to know someone before allowing yourself to be that vulnerable? The answer – very well!
In the days to come I will be sharing a story of an incredibly marvelous experience I had with a Dominant across the Pond in England. I was very foolish to do what I did and I wouldn’t do it again, though I have to say I had been communicating with this person for almost a year when I threw caution to the wind and jumped on that plane.
Doesn’t it just come down to common sense? I believe it does. And instinct.
If it doesn’t feel right don’t do it.
If there’s a warning bell going off in your head don’t go over to his house.
When you’re off to meet him for the first few times make sure someone knows where you’re going and when you’ll check in.
Work out a ‘code’ so you can call and say something that sounds perfectly innocent to the person listening, but tells her you’re in trouble and send the Cavalry, quick!
And one last tip; be careful about how much you drink, and watch that drink or have it in your hand at all times.
All these precautions are appropriate for any kind of situation when you’re meeting someone for the first time – vanilla or D/s. The question becomes – when do you let the ropes and the blindfold become part of your interaction? Can only be your call – and you have to be smart about it.
That’s my two cents worth on this topic for now. I need to get back to the sultry, sexy, salacious world of spanking and bondage and all things D/s.
So…. watch this space…