Why do movies and television, more often than not, portray us (and by us I mean those involved in the D/s lifestyle) as damaged? Dominants, submissive women, those who enjoy spanking and bondage.

Cover of "Secretary"

Cover of Secretary

Do you recall Secretary?  The movie starring James Spader?  If you haven’t seen it, it might be worth your time.  It was the story of a young woman who became secretary to a rather strange lawyer, who ultimately spanked her for her mistakes.  It followed her journey into submission, and his journey as he learned to trust her, allowing them to be together.

Sadly the movie showed her as having just been released from psychiatric care.  She had an issue with cutting herself.  He was far from what one would consider ‘normal’, suffering from a dreadful lack of trust and some kind of commitment phobia.

There have been many television episodes dealing with D/s, and almost always the Dom is portrayed as a psychotic, manipulative pervert, who hates women and enjoys debasing them.  The women are unhappy, weak, miserable creatures who have no will, and can not stand up for themselves.

The great joy and satisfaction I derive from being a submissive is not based on any weakness or psychological distress.  I am a very strong, independent, self sufficient person who has no phobias, and no more emotional baggage than the next person.  The Doms with whom I’ve been involved, were far more supportive and nurturing than the vanilla men I’ve known, and the last thing they wanted was a weak, sniveling, whiny woman who didn’t know who she was or what she wanted.  The subs I’ve encountered have been successful, fun, professional women who simply have this particular sexual kink.

This post is a bit different than those I usually write, but this stereotype bothers me.  I suspect it bothers you too.  Keep the faith.  I think Hollywood will start to lighten up soon.  Just a feeling I have.  Let’s hope I’m right!

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